My First Love

My Pink Hibiscus

i must have been 16 that time..sweet sixteen..that's what people always say..i was in a boarding school after completing my primary school...never had a boyfriend before ..thanks to my mom because she got this habit of cutting my hair very-very short....she said it's easy to maintain...and because of that..i thank my mom again because i think no boy wanted to befriend or to take a look at me that time because of how i looked...like a tomboy!!

i couldnt be bothered with boys either even some of my friends secretly went for dates during our weekend outing...then during sports day in my school i won a gold medal in the long jump. i represented my "Rumah Rajawali(Red House). I was then selected to represent my school in the district meet.I was also selected to captain the girls in my school.

There was this good looking boy who followed me everywhere i went even when i wanted to ease myself to the nearby toilet (of all the places), he waited for me outside the toilet until i emerged...i was so shy...I never had any boyfriends before, ...then suddenly he asked for my name and gave me a small piece of paper...in it was written his address! with my hands trembling (dont laugh because i was very naive then)i took the piece of paper and put it in my pocket and ran away as fast as i could! before that he asked me for my school address..i told him quickly and i noticed he didnt write down anything...!

when i went back to the hostel i tried to forget the incident and move on with my life...the very next week i received a letter from him and attached with the letter was his photo! oh man..that time i realized he was one of the most handsome boy that i ever seen..quite tall for his age..he was 17 that time...i immediately fell in love with this guy...that was the starting of our Monkey Love journey...

after few letters and phone calls..he gave me a surprise! he was selected to represent our state in Rugby tournament and my school was selected as the training centre for the rugby ...he had to stay at our boy's hostel for about 2 weeks and i was very happy to see him...the point is i started to spent time more in front of the mirror..and kept my hair long..this time my mom couldnt do anything about it or maybe she had realized that her daughter was not a kid anymore but turned herself to a young lady...i wanted to look attractive for him. he was very caring, passionate and humble...

but as time passed by..i got myself very buzy..i was going to sit for my big exam...SPM... and had very little time for him ...and in the mean time i got more attention from other guys too...but that was not the real reason for our break up..i think our school's culture didnt permit us to get along well...i was from a residential school..we focused more on academic results and he was from a normal secondary school..he didnt bother to study but concentrated more in his sporting activities...and for this reason he failed his exams! i was so disappointed with him for not studying hard but nevertheless we still carried on with our relationship..

then i got a news from him..he wanted to go to Sarawak because he has applied to be a forest ranger and he got the job! i did miss him very much at first but then i was buzy preparing myself for exams...so i decided to concentrate more on my studies....i didnt know what happened to him after that but i knew i already broke his heart..my very first love...he sent me letters but i didnt bother to reply! i think i was selfish that time but hey...i was not proud of what i did to him...and i wish him to be happier without me around..i heard Sarawakian girls were very beautiful...maybe he will find one to be his special...(that one is to make me feel less guilty...)

so that was the end of my first love....Saz...if u happen to read this i am sorry..really really sorry for what i have done to u...maybe we are not meant for each other..i wish u all the best, may god bless u always...