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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

My First Love


My Pink Hibiscus

i must have been 16 that time..sweet sixteen..that's what people always say..i was in a boarding school after completing my primary school...never had a boyfriend before ..thanks to my mom because she got this habit of cutting my hair very-very short....she said it's easy to maintain...and because of that..i thank my mom again because i think no boy wanted to befriend or to take a look at me that time because of how i looked...like a tomboy!!

i couldnt be bothered with boys either even some of my friends secretly went for dates during our weekend outing...then during sports day in my school i won a gold medal in the long jump. i represented my "Rumah Rajawali(Red House). I was then selected to represent my school in the district meet.I was also selected to captain the girls in my school.

There was this good looking boy who followed me everywhere i went even when i wanted to ease myself to the nearby toilet (of all the places), he waited for me outside the toilet until i emerged...i was so shy...I never had any boyfriends before, ...then suddenly he asked for my name and gave me a small piece of paper...in it was written his address! with my hands trembling (dont laugh because i was very naive then)i took the piece of paper and put it in my pocket and ran away as fast as i could! before that he asked me for my school address..i told him quickly and i noticed he didnt write down anything...!

when i went back to the hostel i tried to forget the incident and move on with my life...the very next week i received a letter from him and attached with the letter was his photo! oh man..that time i realized he was one of the most handsome boy that i ever seen..quite tall for his age..he was 17 that time...i immediately fell in love with this guy...that was the starting of our Monkey Love journey...

after few letters and phone calls..he gave me a surprise! he was selected to represent our state in Rugby tournament and my school was selected as the training centre for the rugby ...he had to stay at our boy's hostel for about 2 weeks and i was very happy to see him...the point is i started to spent time more in front of the mirror..and kept my hair long..this time my mom couldnt do anything about it or maybe she had realized that her daughter was not a kid anymore but turned herself to a young lady...i wanted to look attractive for him. he was very caring, passionate and humble...

but as time passed by..i got myself very buzy..i was going to sit for my big exam...SPM... and had very little time for him ...and in the mean time i got more attention from other guys too...but that was not the real reason for our break up..i think our school's culture didnt permit us to get along well...i was from a residential school..we focused more on academic results and he was from a normal secondary school..he didnt bother to study but concentrated more in his sporting activities...and for this reason he failed his exams! i was so disappointed with him for not studying hard but nevertheless we still carried on with our relationship..

then i got a news from him..he wanted to go to Sarawak because he has applied to be a forest ranger and he got the job! i did miss him very much at first but then i was buzy preparing myself for exams...so i decided to concentrate more on my studies....i didnt know what happened to him after that but i knew i already broke his heart..my very first love...he sent me letters but i didnt bother to reply! i think i was selfish that time but hey...i was not proud of what i did to him...and i wish him to be happier without me around..i heard Sarawakian girls were very beautiful...maybe he will find one to be his special...(that one is to make me feel less guilty...)

so that was the end of my first love....Saz...if u happen to read this i am sorry..really really sorry for what i have done to u...maybe we are not meant for each other..i wish u all the best, may god bless u always...

75 comments:

Akmal said...

Kak Waliz,
Hey, nice one. So you had a love eh? I don't have any experience what-so-ever regarding love issue, but i noticed that you were deeply into him.
So far for the long lost love story. What about current love story? If you want to talk about it, I am all ears hahaha. Just kidding.
Keep well kak, good evening.

Dann said...

hi waliz sweetie..
I wonder if that's your first love or lust? don't get mad...
well, I feel really sorry for him. That guy was soo into you and may be he could have been your future husband if you have continued your relationship.;).
It takes a lot of time to build a relationship but a fraction of time is enough to tremble it.
Well, that was past, and it's gone as I already wrote a post about it(Leave the past behind). You can't do anything about it now. Just focus on today, and look forward to tomorrow. May be a great guy is waiting for you somewhere.;) take care and have a great time ;) Muahh..

mauniejames said...

Hey waliz..how are you..I'm somewhat back..I can write blogs but cannot get on to my site..dummy
me...anyway your story was so sweet but apparently you were young but your so adorable there will be tons of guys in your future..not to worry..hope I can get back on my site soon..Maunie

al-Misri said...

Story yg agak sadis, what ever it is very nice... keep it up..

Zen Chef said...

This is sooo cute Waliz!
I imagine you running away from this guy! hehehe. You have quite changed since those days didn't you? haha
Come on we want more updates on your love life! :-D

Sweetiepie said...

what a romantic and sad ending monkey love story..don't feel bad to yourself..maybe you did the right decision at that time.like you said maybe you guys are not meant for each other..hehe I only date at the age of 21..

HeLL DweLLerS said...

Ha ha ha ha its funny how everyone keep saying how beautiful Sarawakian girls are. But thanks for that. Really appreciate the compliment. Nice , sad story. He He HE.

sHa| said...

There goes your first love huh? It's ok... don't have to be guilty. That's life. After all both of you are still young at that time. Just take it as an experience, learn from it.. you can be much better :-)

bluecrystaldude said...

at first, I don't think a long distance relationship will works. But you never know until you give it a try. It does works sometimes

My first love story involve a love triangle. Not a very good start indeed. But I am the one who became the third. Who's care? :P

WoW said...

I wonder how could he send you the first letter looking in the facts that he didn't write down anything in the first place.

I believe you will find your true love one day as the end of a love 'journey' is the beginning of a new one. hehe

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation”-Kahlil Gibran

waliz said...

hi akmal..
everybody does have a love if not now maybe later...
of course i was deeply into him..he is my first love dear...
current love story? errr...let me think first about it okay?

u keep well too...study hard akmal..:D

waliz said...

dear Dann,
love or lust? hmm maybe both..hehehe but u feel sorry for him? guys always defend guys..lol!

btw..i already leave everything behind and look forward for the next chapter of my life...i have no regret or whatsoever....

thanks for the advice dann..you are wonderful!!
take care and you have a great time too!!

waliz said...

maunie,
i'm fine thank you...i'm glad to see u here..i always wondering what happen to u my friend...i hope u can go to your site and write again...miss your blog so much..!

tons of guys?? wow...i might be very buzy then...hehehe

waliz said...

al-misri,
sadis or tragis? hehehe...whatever la....u know better...:D

waliz said...

zennnnn,
i have changed a lot..instead of running from them i might running after them..hahahaha...i have no shame at all!!!

u wanna updates on my love life?? its tooooooo complicated...believe me!

waliz said...

sweetiepie,
i'm glad to hear those words from you...thats the key word 'not meant for each other'...

but at the age of 21 i guess u were matured and could choose what is the best for you...:D

waliz said...

helldwellers,
it's your first time here and i'm glad u happy to hear the compliment...
They are what we called an exotic beauty..:D

waliz said...

bluecyrstaldude,
u r naughty!! yes the best thing about being the third party is u do not have to work hard for the relationships!!

waliz said...

Shai...
that was my first and i have a lots more to tell...! more experience means more clever to handle things...but the feel, the love and the pain are still same!

waliz said...

wow,
he memorized it and my school address was not too difficult to remember...!

i believe in true love and fate..just like u said it will be the beginning of a new one...

hmmmm...Kahlil Gibran...!!

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Hafifi said...

hi kakak..hehe..muda2 lg dah cple,bgs2! menarik citer tu..

BillyWarhol said...

U are my First Love + my ONLY LOVE on my blog log Waliz*

without U i am nothing*

my love for U runs deep*

my loins lust for yer embrace*

will U have my hand in Marriage?

waliz said...

Károly Domonyi,
thanks for dropping by and read my post..i will come and give u the return visit...see you soon...:D

waliz said...

hehehe Hafifi...love is blind...tak kira usia tua ke muda..ingat tu? share wth me if u have one...:D

waliz said...

my only love in blog log? Billy..u r funny!!

too many proposals..let me think ab it first..ok? hahaha... u make my day..:D

bluedreamer27 said...

hey its just can i ask anyone here!!!!? what is the date now? hmmm oh!!! i thought i was just having a mistake looking at my calender its just January but i thought its Valentines day here
hehehe
First looveeeee never diesssss....hmmmmm mmmm mmm (singing the song "first Love)
i agree to my buddy dann
there's could always been a good guy for you outthere (ehem ehem)
someone that will give you great chemistry (ehemn ehem)
why dont you look around....
have a great day waliz (ehem ehem)

waliz said...

Bluedreamer,
ths is pre-valentine's day post...evrybody seems to be very excited everytime we talk about LOVE...!

i think i let u and Dann to find a great guy for me..how about tht? and i've seen around ...there are so many candidates and all them have a good great chemistry wth me...including u..*wink* ...lol!

A Z R A said...

ahhh those days..........;D

Rolando said...

Ahh was a nice innocent and kinda strange story, lol. He wait for you outside the wash room? :)

I guess you really never forget your first love. They continue to be special even your life has moved on.

At 17 who has that much direction, lol. Sports and girls are more important that studying, j/k.

It's nice that you thought about him though. I hope he finds your message. :)

mAmAn said...

hmmm....so now I know why you called yourself a heartbreaker!....but to say, you do what got to do. I never got a 'second love' though....so, thats mean I got no 'first love' either!
:sigh:

waliz said...

Azra...:D
i wish i can go back to school again....!

waliz said...

Ro,
hahaha...not many people around the washroom....

First cut is the deepest...lol! eventhough i'm the one who leaves him but sometimes my thought is always wth him...

waliz said...

Mamannnn!!!
i thought u r a heart breaker toooo!! something like we called a 'playboy'...hehehe...too bad u r not!

your second love might come anytime soon...*wink*

Navin said...

Waliz, never knew you had such a tragedy. But, whatever you wrote, while reading, my imagination showed me the movie of love story you guys had. I just went into imagination. You're a good story teller :) and sorry for the tragic ending

bluedreamer27 said...

hello just dropping by

BillyWarhol said...

Do U still Love me as much today Waliz as U promised me yesterday*

;)) xoxo

ametya said...

I don't have proper idea abt love as i am not in love. But one thing I think that there must be something happened in stomach when one sees his/her love. In your case, there was nothing. You saw his photo, he was handsome, so you fell in love with him and that's why the love didn't go far because that was only an attraction.

Whenever you see someone, if your face leaves a sweet smile with some shy without your know, then feel that you are in true love.I don't know am i right or not ? But it's my opinion only.

mr_viruz said...

first love a really romantic things in life
advance happy valentine waliz

Rolando said...

Yes first cut is the deepest isn't it. Ouch, I'm jealous :(

rino said...

What a story! This would make a nice tv drama special! We all have our own love stories and certainly, although we may not end up with our first love, he or she that ends up with us will also be deserving of our love. Have a nice day!

waliz said...

Navin,
thanks for reading my post..i'm happy u enjoy it...its not too tragic compared to others i think..atleast nobody died...lol!

waliz said...

thanks Bluedreamer..love to see u around..:D

waliz said...

Billy...

the love is getting hotter as time pass by...hehehe


*peace*

waliz said...

I don't have proper idea abt love as i am not in love. But one thing I think that there must be something happened in stomach when one sees his/her love. In your case, there was nothing. You saw his photo, he was handsome, so you fell in love with him and that's why the love didn't go far because that was only an attraction.

Whenever you see someone, if your face leaves a sweet smile with some shy without your know, then feel that you are in true love.I don't know am i right or not ? But it's my opinion only.

hi..Ametya...
thanks for leaving a nice comment for me..yes i must admit that your comment has made me ponder for a while...i must say tht i was attracted to him because of his good looks at first...but it slowly turned into love..there was so much thing happened in between us but i couldnt make myself to write about it in this blog...it will hurt me more and i dont think people wanna read my very long post...just being considerate hehehe...

i think u will understand it because it was not a love at the first sight so it wont leave uneasiness in your stomach...but i did miss him day and nite, waited for his letter and when it finally arrived it could made me smile for the whole week....if he was not my first love then what it was...:D

hope to see u more ametya..thanks again for dropping by...have a nice weekend ya?

waliz said...

mrviruz,
my advance happy valentine to u too....:D

where is the flowers...lol!

waliz said...

Rolando...
i mean it....i did the hoooorible thing..and u should feel lucky and not jealous..lol!

waliz said...

hi Rino,
really glad to see u again my friend....hahaha tv drama? not worth it unless they ask me to be the leading actress..lol!

the most important thing is the current love of our life deserve the beat love we can give..

see you again Rino...!

TAN YI said...

hope you could be happy more,
don't be ditsturb by the sad thing :)

waliz said...

hi Tan Yi,
thanks for the advice..i'm not sad anymore..its happened long time ago..:D

see you again...

Rolando said...

ok what did you do? Fess up! :) I'll forgive you, lol

Painkiller said...

Baguih.....Baguih.....

waliz said...

Rolando...!!
confessions of a dangerous mind...i have broken a lots of heart....lol!

waliz said...

apa yang baguih sangat painkiller...hehehe..:D

ametya said...

While sharing some words about love, I have some words.Why am i sharing this to you, i don't know. I hope you will think carefully this and will give me the answer not in fast mood rather considering it giving more time.

A girl proposed me, but i rejected her saying this is not the time for love. I respected her love toward me and said that i will respect you and your feeling till the end of my life by being your best friend forever. But my this proposal, being a good friend forever, was rejected by her saying she can't see me as a friend except a boyfriend.Sometimes i feel guilty and sometimes i feel myself as a good.

What are the words of your toward this ????

Hye said...

Hi waliz...

I remember my dad cut my hair too short just like a boy when I was 11 years old. I cried and never go to school for a week.

I like your story :D

Hye
A Blog of Thoughts and Opinions

nisha said...

Hi tomboy Waliz;) hahaha.. i was literally jumping out of my seat with laughter.. i imagined the scenes where you were running away from your love, with the letter;)such a sweet innocent love story, i swear!!

i spent 8 years of my life in a boarding school and i can feel your sentiments about the past:)

i guess at 16.. love is called puppy love and never meant to be;)as time passes a person matures and so i think,now its time you find your mr right? or is it that you've already found him? is it the secretly cooked dish? hehehe

FeelingFlirty said...

I'm right here, my dear. Like you I went to an all girls boarding school, but mine was run by Catholic nuns. I got a great preparation for university but I knew nothing about boys or how to relate to them.

Fortunately, I'm a quick learner. :)

NZ is fine but it's rainy and windy and cold. It's under 20 today and back home in Australia it's just under 40. Huge difference.

Hannan said...

babe...
it was just a matter of time who was gonna brake the relationship
lucky u r the one who pulled the plug... SALUTE!!! hehehhe..
well, if u r still with him -u might be in the jungle too nowdays!!!
anyway , i believe everything happened for a reason and all the decision u have made are the best for ur future life...
take care dear.. i miss a lot...

Rolando said...

I could imagine the hearts you've broken. I'm glad I wasn't one of them. It's be hard to pick up the pieces :)

waliz said...

hi ametya..thanks for telling me ab ths girl...gimme some time to answer it will ya...its quite complicated..i need to think ab it thoroughly...i let u know when i'm done..k?

waliz said...

hye..i guess our parent doesnt want to get another headache when they see our long and unkempt hair..so the easy way out is to cut it short..very easy! lol....

waliz said...

hey Nisha...dont laugh at me...!!
so u were the resident evil too..haha..now i know! i'm trying very hard to look for another Mr.Right but something has blinded me...
the secretly cooked dish is my love-tim..i know u dont understand but if u have time Dann will explain it to u...see ya!

waliz said...

Hannan....!
thank God! i dont wanna live in the jungle!! jeeezz thanks...u make me feel less guilty..hahaha

yes..everything happened for a reason..no regret! u take care too..and u know wht..i miss u too... after 60 comments u come and visit me here..very buzy huh..good luck for yr exams dear..!

waliz said...

Flirty...
i'm glad to see you again..NZ must be wonderful...u almost forget ab me..just kidding!

hahaha...u were in the all girls school before? thank god u r a quick learner...if not they wont simply called u flirty..am i right?

waliz said...

Rolando...
me glad tooo...but for your sake i will help u to collect all the broken pieces...lol!

INconstantIN said...

OMG! 66 comments!!! You are so popular, great!!! So, it's more than obvious that you should register with Entrecard as soon as possible. Adjust the damn banner so that it would fit 125x125 and sign up!:)

waliz said...

thanks inconstantin...
i'm pulling my gear to get it done...fast!

mr_viruz said...

first love never dies as they say but being practcal on that issue its quite hard to have this kind of long lasting relationship but in your situation hmm godalwys has ihis reason in all things in life and maybe god knows that you deserves someone better

myfisol said...

I like this love story...really interesting to read..

anyway, pertemuan & perpisahan di tangan tuhan..kita hanya merancang..

waliz said...

i couldnt agree wth u more mrviruz..he will be there forever in my mind as my first..but hey..i didnt forget about the second, third, fourth and bla..bla..bla..either..time will tell when am i going to publish the stories ab them..lol!

yeah..god has been very kind to me..i will get the best among the best..!

waliz said...

Myfisol..
can u share wth us yr love story? it must been a lovely one...:D

balidreamhome said...

every time I fall in love is always my 1st love as its spice up my personal life and fill one of my history page. But surely there is always the best one and most memorable one!!
Cheers

waliz said...

balidreamhome..
i agree wth u...every love is always be a first love because the person and the experience is always different from the previous love..:D

BillyWarhol said...

Blast from the Past*

U know we are all Jonesing for a New Post from U Waliz!!!

thx fer popping by Sweetie* ;)) xoxo

Peace*