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Friday, November 23, 2007

The Funniest Joke In The world



This photo was taken during my visit to Kelantan in Disember 2006...actually there was a huuuge statue behind me which was called 'A Sleeping Buddha' but sadly u couldnt see it here because he was not the star attraction here but ME...hehehe...but i dont mind sharing the limeligt with the old monk statue beside me...sit still there will ya...?

when i published my last post about riddles,my friend JON asked me this.. "Waliz, those were hilarious. I wonder what the funniest joke you know is? : so i promised to tell him the funniest jokes when i write down my next post...ta daaa... actually i found out this jokes from the internet...no offence ya....and the worst part is...a teacher is always a teacher..so let me educate you what they (whoever has conducted the study) have to say about this joke first..

The study documented regional differences in humour, as well as variations between the sexes. According to its results, men preferred more aggressive jokes, as well as sexual innuendo, while women preferred word play....reallY??? i dont agree wth ths..somebody in New York can clarify this.... Wiseman points out that this is the joke that the most people found reasonably funny, and that it would be unreasonable to expect any joke to be universally judged superior to all others.

The experiment was conducted in Britain, where researchers solicited people around the world to contribute jokes as well as judge them. At the conclusion of the experiment, the scientists had evaluated over 40,000 submitted jokes and tallied nearly 2 million votes. I know you bored already reading this andddd.....

The winner is......

“ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" ”

The second runner up is...

“ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"


While this was the top joke in the UK:

“ A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

And in Australia the top joke was as follows:

“ This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Jon dear...i hope you like this joke but you better do because it's already stated as the funniest joke in this world by the wikipedia...!!!and to other readers please share your funniest joke with me tooo...

32 comments:

eTomyam said...

Agreed and acknowledged the jokes above, but while looking at the cover image above, it has confused me, which one is the real statue, the sitting one the one who is standing? he he he

Caplondon said...

I like the Sherlock Holmes joke!!!

JAZEVOX said...

lol, thanks for the laugh, the stolen tent is definitely hilarious

Waliz said...

eTomyam ...omg...do i really looked like a statue to u? i'm all flesh and blood...come and touch me in the cheek u will know wht i mean...hehehe

Waliz said...

hi caplondon...me too..me tooo..hehehe...err any las vegas joke?sure the gamblers have some..

Waliz said...

hi jazebox...i can see u laughing a lot now..hey i love your new avatar...

JAZEVOX said...

i changed my avatar so people wont think that im a dog :-P

Waliz said...

i didnt but i thought you were a man...sorry..u r beautiful..

eTomyam said...

Yes waliz, I've touch it....on my laptop screen but both are same...he he he..btw belum top-up lagi lah free 15 mssg tu, after 4.00pm Mal time. i've been at sleeping buddha when I was 5, till now I didn't know why my father brought me there, while there were so many beautiful places we haven't visit.

Zen Chef said...

hehehehe...Funny jokes waliz baby! :-p
Men like sexual innuendo?...really? hahaha and i'm the one who has to clarify this? ;-) ummm let's see...

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

answer: How do you breathe through that thing?... haha

Waliz said...

ETOMYAM:can touch only at the screen?WHT A WASTE..hehehe..
the statue was amazingly big and now thy have a sitting buddha also..cant believe of all states its sleeping in Kelantan!!!

Waliz said...

ahhaaa...zen already proves that wht thy said are right!!! tht joke was hilarious....hehehehe..

kento said...

Tanoshi katta! (it's fun!) kelantan?
that's my hometown ^_^ home sweet home... ^_^

don't forget to take part on http://malaysiamillionpixels.internetgecko.com

Waliz said...

hi kento..i though u r a japanese ...

GjoE said...

owh, i visited there once, while i was on da way to tumpat, they got the huge budha statue. nice one.

Waliz said...

hi gJoe...thanks for coming here...actually u can see buddha statue everywhere in kelantan...fluencing from the thais i guess....

jon said...

ahhhh.... See the problem for me is, even though I knew what was coming, the monkey joke really did it for me. I loved it.

As well, I do like sick humor so shooting the fellow to make sure he was dead appeals to my Mad Magazine upbringing.

Waliz dear, how can I be expected to top these? Still, I'll try to remember my favorite jokes and post them. :)


Well done! That was a LOT of fun! :D

jon said...

ahhhh.... See the problem for me is, even though I knew what was coming, the monkey joke really did it for me. I loved it.

As well, I do like sick humor so shooting the fellow to make sure he was dead appeals to my Mad Magazine upbringing.

Waliz dear, how can I be expected to top these? Still, I'll try to remember my favorite jokes and post them. :)


Well done! That was a LOT of fun! :D

eTomyam said...

Kelantan?
Lanjutkan usia Al sultan kami
Sultan kelantan Raja ikrar kami..heh heh heh

Waliz said...

whatttt!!another kelantanese in my blog...where all the negris chap been to? follow dr sheikh go to the space i guess...hehehe
FYI..dr sms is frm negeri sembilan and i'm proud of it...

Waliz said...

hi jon...the most important thing is YOU LIKE IT!!!thts the matter most for me....
errr jon dear...any idea for the next post????luv ya...

mauniejames3 said...

they were all good..my favorite is..A man goes to the doctor and says his wife is frigid..can the doctor help him? The doctor calls the wife in and says" your husband has a rare very new disease..he must have sex at least once a day or he will certainly die." When she comes out of the office hubby says what did he say? Your going to die she answered

Waliz said...

hehehehe...hahahaha thts sooooo funny....i like this joke very2 muchhhhh....thanks mauniejames...

eTomyam said...

he he he, I see nothing wrong with kelantanese in N9 blog, ican sing N9 song what..Berkatlah Yang di-Pertuan Besar di Negeri Sembilan. Kurniai Sihat Dan Makmur. Kasihi Rakyat Lanjutkan Umur....he he he, as long we are Negaraku, Tanah Tumpahya darahku...can see I'm standing right now?

Waliz said...

wahhh..u really BOLEH maaa..n9 song also u knw...r u still standing? good...stand till ths morning...eTomyam BOLEH right?hehehe

Zen Chef said...

Waliz try tickling the buddha next to you, looks like he needs a good laugh!
;-)

Waliz said...

eeeeeiii zennn....old monk is not my type...

Rolando said...

Bwahahahaha, I love the second runner up, that is just too funny! My kind of joke! That was a good find Waliz.

Waliz said...

yeah rolando..tht one was funny...i'm glad u like it...

jon said...

HMMmm... Ideas for next post. Places you'd absolutely love to visit but haven't. And WHY you'd like to go there. :)

Hannan said...

walizzzzzzzzzzz...... I've been living in kelantan for yearsss and I never been to that place... hahahhaha...

Waliz said...

hey jon...u r brilliant..i'll keep it in my diary and will do it one of ths day...thank you dear...

hannan-how come? maybe outsiders are jakun or what?hehehe...